As the productive capacity of the nation (or the world) tries to adjust to these fleeting tastes, there is, of course, far less efficiency in the economy as well. If mink coats are all the rage one month, then, it may encourage people to go into mink farming. But the next month, it might be considered out of fashion to wear the pelts of dead animals so all the mental and physical effort (as well as associated capital) becomes essentially wasted and must be redirect. By contrast, if a farmer grows wheat, that wheat is likely to end up in bread purchased by poor people month after month. (By the way, wealthy people can eat bread as well).

Income distribution has another large impact on economic efficiency as well. We may conceptually divide the economy into that segment which actually produces something useful to human beings and that segment which protects and divides productive goods and services. On the one hand, there is, for example, the land, effort, and capital that go into producing wheat and subsequently bread. On the other hand, there is the time and effort that goes into putting an electric fence, guards, and dogs around the means of production and distribution. But more than that, there is also in this category the time and effort and capital that go into advertising the particular brand of bread and more broadly, the huge amount of time, effort, and capital that goes into convincing people that they should be electing people to protect the interests of billionaires. Nothing in this latter category is actually productive use of resources although it is obviously seen as being in the interests of the few. Of course, one also sees that historically, extreme inequalities of income distribution are often the precursors of war and rebellion which have their own huge negative impacts on stability and efficiency. Unfortunately, some (though thankfully not all) of today’s extremely wealthy think that they are “too smart” to allow this to happen; that they will use the media to convince people that huge income inequalities are really good for everyone. Sigh. Where is Aesop when we really need him?

Now that I have clearly explained how things work, I hope folks will start buying and trading Billionaire Trading Cards! And, don’t forget the “Adopt a Billionare” program!

So, I am sitting in an executive committee meeting when I get a text message from my wife (we’ll use the pseudonym Whendy to protect her real identity) that she is calling 911.  She was having another gall bladder attack and this was the worst one yet.  It led to an ambulance ride to the nearest hospital where she was put in the emergency room and diagnosed with acute pancreatitis.  When the doctor came to see her (we’ll use the pseudonym Sahib to protect his real idiocracy) I was on the phone listening to the conversation.  Whendy told him that she was probably pre-diebetic based on what she had read.  The Great Sahib asked whether she had heard this from an actual physician.  She said no but….

“Ah,” replied the Great Sahib, “then you are merely talking about a fantasy.  Let us dwell only in the realm of facts.”

Whendy also explained that she had a history of gall bladder attacks. 

“And how,” asked the Great Sahib, “do you know these were gall bladder attacks.” 

“Well, I have read about it and compared notes with people who have had their gall bladders out.  And, when I had an ultrasound, the lab technician told me I had many gallstones.”

“This was a lab technician or an M.D.?”

“That was the lab technician, but…”

“Then, once again, if you didn’t hear it from a real doctor, it is a mere fantasy, not a fact.”

Okay.  So, let’s review the bidding.  According to the Great Doctor Sahib, if you hear something from a medical doctor, it is a FACT.  But if you discover anything in any other way, it is a fantasy.  Interesting.  I wonder whether the Great Doctor Sahib is aware that, at the time I was born, according to the medical profession, babies less than six weeks old could not see because their eyes were too immature.  And, according to the medical profession, the nervous systems of babies were too immature to feel pain, so surgery at that time required no anesthetic.  Of course, this was all “fact” because it was stated by “real” doctors.  My wife Whendy does have a great imagination.  But I am afraid that it is the Great Doctor Sahib who dwells in a complete fantasy land of his own creation wherein there is no valid source of knowledge except by dicta from an M.D. and that whatever an M.D. states becomes fact instantaneously.  Gee.  According to a literal interpretation of the Bible, it even took God six days to create the world.  Did I mention that when I fell off a swing as a child that the “real doctor” told me my arm was not broken and I should use it as much as possible?  Did I mention that I got called out of class three days later because — ooops — my arm actually was broken after all?  Now, this is not meant as a slam on all doctors.  Of course, most of them are doing the best that they can under far more pressure and far less time than ideal.  But it does give one pause if even one of them is so cut off from everyday reality as to imagine that the class of things that doctors say and the class of what is fact is completely identical.

Although I personally favor government-supported universal health coverage, that is only an option in parts of the civilized world.  So, since that’s out for America, the next question is, what can we learn from the Republican Health Care Plan?  In the next few installments, I’ll point out some cheap and easy steps to reducing American Health Care costs.  The key to point one of the Republican Health Care Plan is unbridled greed.  But I see evidence that there are already plenty of people with unbridled greed.  “Insurance” companies, for instance. 

So, let’s focus on “Don’t get sick.”  A simple corollary of that is: “Don’t spread illness.”  When I was a kid starting about three or four years old and coughed or sneezed, my parents and other nearby adults would always scream: “Cover your mouth!”  ?? What happened?  It seems this little courtesy has gone the way of the penny post card and the four cent popsicle.  Nowadays, people on planes, trains and at the workplace just let loose with coughs and sneezes without the slightest hint of an attempt to prevent the spread of germs.  It’s disgusting.  And, costly.  If there were some sort of bonus for getting others sick, then I could understand it.  But if there is such a bonus, I haven’t been apprized of it.  So….??  What gives?  Is there some sort of tax imposed when you cover up when you sneeze or cough?  I don’t think so.  At least not yet.  So, meanwhile, here is point one to reducing Health Care Costs: COVER UP WHEN YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH.

And, then there’s “You’re in good hands.” Yep. But I want to know, where exactly *are* those hands? I would say, they are around your neck at best. “Yes, normally, your insurance policy does cover treatment for diabetes, but our records show that you had a wart removed from your knee when you were two and a half. What’s that? You claim to have no memory of that? Well, I’m sorry sir, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that you lied on your insurance application so now we can’t cover you. But, hey, thanks for paying those premiums for 30 years. Our CEO really appreciates it. With millions of saps like you doing that in the unrealistic expectation that you were actually purchasing insurance. (Ha-hah. Sorry, sir, I couldn’t stifle a laugh there)… with all that cash, he was able to completely redecorate his fifth house and get a bigger yacht. While I have you on the phone, would you like to buy some fire insurance?”

“Worldwide, we’re on your side.” Yep. Up to a point, at least. Generally, that point is precisely where you become a source of negative cash flow.

Of course, some insurance companies do not seem to have memorable logos. They are identified more with cute, harmless creatures that you feel you could easily overpower if need be. How about a teeny green lizard, for example? What could be cuter? Unless of course, you file a *claim* at which point, they trade in the lizard for the 30 foot crocodile.

“Be prepared for the FU in LIFE.” Yep. “I’m sorry madam but your husband’s life insurance policy has a clause that makes it crystal clear that we do not pay off for suicide. What? Well, maybe technically he died of a heart attack, but our records show that he was twenty pounds overweight and hadn’t been to the gym for decades. Sounds like a death wish to me. Bye bye now and thanks for calling. Remember to check out our website for more ways you can make us rich at www.fu.com.”

And the so-called “health-care plan” is actually a secret plot to turn us into cat people through genetic engineering so we will be easier for the aliens to take us over. Yeah! It all fits. And, of course, the plan to have an all-gay military is all part of the bigger picture too because their kind will only be too glad to turn our planet over to the giant spider people just because they are both really into patent leather and….

What? Oh no! Now, I’m getting reports that Gush Limboogers is on his radio show and already proclaiming my blog as irrefutable evidence that this is all true. Geez, Gush, it was meant as an ironic JOKE, a JOKE. See? Too late. He is swaying and jumping and screaming like a banshee so everyone will therefore know he must speak The Truth. In a rush to lip-brush the Gush’s tush, Republican members of Congress are even now introducing a bill to require future Presidential candidates to submit to DNA testing to prove they are from this galaxy. An amendment to that bill would apparently also make it illegal to genetically cross people with cats. May be too late for that one though. Given how much the Republican Congress purr like pussycats to the tune of Gush’s histri-idiodics, it seems the “cat is already out of the bag.”