Reducing American Health Care Costs — Republican Style

In the rush of news about the various versions of the Democratic Health Care Plan, we seem to have lost track of the Republican Health Care Plan.  For those who have forgotten Grayson’s speech, the basic plan is quite simple: 1. Get Rich!  2. If you fail to get rich, then don’t get sick!  3. If you are poor and get sick anyway, then die quickly!

Although I personally favor government-supported universal health coverage, that is only an option in parts of the civilized world.  So, since that’s out for America, the next question is, what can we learn from the Republican Health Care Plan?  In the next few installments, I’ll point out some cheap and easy steps to reducing American Health Care costs.  The key to point one of the Republican Health Care Plan is unbridled greed.  But I see evidence that there are already plenty of people with unbridled greed.  “Insurance” companies, for instance. 

So, let’s focus on “Don’t get sick.”  A simple corollary of that is: “Don’t spread illness.”  When I was a kid starting about three or four years old and coughed or sneezed, my parents and other nearby adults would always scream: “Cover your mouth!”  ?? What happened?  It seems this little courtesy has gone the way of the penny post card and the four cent popsicle.  Nowadays, people on planes, trains and at the workplace just let loose with coughs and sneezes without the slightest hint of an attempt to prevent the spread of germs.  It’s disgusting.  And, costly.  If there were some sort of bonus for getting others sick, then I could understand it.  But if there is such a bonus, I haven’t been apprized of it.  So….??  What gives?  Is there some sort of tax imposed when you cover up when you sneeze or cough?  I don’t think so.  At least not yet.  So, meanwhile, here is point one to reducing Health Care Costs: COVER UP WHEN YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH.

Why Does Everyone Always Blame the Man?

According to usually unrelialbe sources such as the “WholeCloth Tabloid” and “Aliens Among Us” the real story behind the recent Tiger Woods “issue” has to do with his wife’s post-marriage behavior. As I understand it, no sooner had the knot been tied, than she began refusing to wear that scanty three-wood costume and no longer was seen buying huge quantities of orange marmalade at ShopRite. No wonder Tiger strayed. And, even when he’s trying his best, he’s only on the fairway about 50% of the time. Why does everyone always blame the man?

Revised Insurance Company Mottos

Ever imagine what it would be like if insurance companies had mottos that reflected reality? Well, I have. “Like a good neighbor….” is a little too short to give real justice to the complexities of the insurance business. It should be something more like, “We’re like a good neighbor who drops by and asks for a cup of sugar or an egg….every couple days….as long as nothing goes wrong, we love to get those payments from you. And, if you ever have a life-threatening illness, we are still like a neighbor except then we’re more like that one at the end of the traffic circle who screams if the kid’s ball accidentally gets on their yard and they come out with a shotgun if the poor tyke steps over the sidewalk onto their grass.” I guess that’s a little long for a commercial.

And, then there’s “You’re in good hands.” Yep. But I want to know, where exactly *are* those hands? I would say, they are around your neck at best. “Yes, normally, your insurance policy does cover treatment for diabetes, but our records show that you had a wart removed from your knee when you were two and a half. What’s that? You claim to have no memory of that? Well, I’m sorry sir, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that you lied on your insurance application so now we can’t cover you. But, hey, thanks for paying those premiums for 30 years. Our CEO really appreciates it. With millions of saps like you doing that in the unrealistic expectation that you were actually purchasing insurance. (Ha-hah. Sorry, sir, I couldn’t stifle a laugh there)… with all that cash, he was able to completely redecorate his fifth house and get a bigger yacht. While I have you on the phone, would you like to buy some fire insurance?”

“Worldwide, we’re on your side.” Yep. Up to a point, at least. Generally, that point is precisely where you become a source of negative cash flow.

Of course, some insurance companies do not seem to have memorable logos. They are identified more with cute, harmless creatures that you feel you could easily overpower if need be. How about a teeny green lizard, for example? What could be cuter? Unless of course, you file a *claim* at which point, they trade in the lizard for the 30 foot crocodile.

“Be prepared for the FU in LIFE.” Yep. “I’m sorry madam but your husband’s life insurance policy has a clause that makes it crystal clear that we do not pay off for suicide. What? Well, maybe technically he died of a heart attack, but our records show that he was twenty pounds overweight and hadn’t been to the gym for decades. Sounds like a death wish to me. Bye bye now and thanks for calling. Remember to check out our website for more ways you can make us rich at www.fu.com.”

Obama actually from Andromeda Galaxy!

Have you heard the latest? It turns out that Obama was NOT secretly born in Kenya as previously thought but is actually an android from the Andromeda galaxy beamed here by their superior alien technology as part of a democratic party conspiracy to give earth away to the spacemen. Yes! Evidence? Who needs evidence? We have never let lack of evidence stop us before. Why start now? And, besides, where is the proof that Obama is NOT secretly an android from another galaxy? Eh? Have you ever heard him deny it at a Press Conference? Nowhere in his books does he mention, “Oh, by the way, I am not an android from the Andromeda Galaxy.” Would have been easy enough to stick that one sentence in to reassure the American people.

And the so-called “health-care plan” is actually a secret plot to turn us into cat people through genetic engineering so we will be easier for the aliens to take us over. Yeah! It all fits. And, of course, the plan to have an all-gay military is all part of the bigger picture too because their kind will only be too glad to turn our planet over to the giant spider people just because they are both really into patent leather and….

What? Oh no! Now, I’m getting reports that Gush Limboogers is on his radio show and already proclaiming my blog as irrefutable evidence that this is all true. Geez, Gush, it was meant as an ironic JOKE, a JOKE. See? Too late. He is swaying and jumping and screaming like a banshee so everyone will therefore know he must speak The Truth. In a rush to lip-brush the Gush’s tush, Republican members of Congress are even now introducing a bill to require future Presidential candidates to submit to DNA testing to prove they are from this galaxy. An amendment to that bill would apparently also make it illegal to genetically cross people with cats. May be too late for that one though. Given how much the Republican Congress purr like pussycats to the tune of Gush’s histri-idiodics, it seems the “cat is already out of the bag.”

Unsightly Elbow Wrinkles?

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Getting it Wrong — one small Delta at a time

The conference at Georgia Tech on “Computing at the Margins” was great. Getting there and back…not so much. We boarded our plane in White Plains on time…but then, we couldn’t leave. Why? Because they had issued a “bad” boarding pass to someone on the plane and we couldn’t leave till that was straightened out. They had to find the “bad” boarding pass and scold it. Then, we couldn’t leave because we didn’t have anyone to push us back from the gate. Hmmm…..You might think this would be a *foreseeable problem*, might you not? I mean, maybe not you *personally* but say — if you ran an airline? Finally, they got a device to push us back from the gate. Whew. But we couldn’t take off. Why? Because they first needed to load another plane and let it take off first. Now, if you were unsteeped in the ways of logistics, you might think it would make more sense to let our larger, already full and already late plane take off first, but I guess that’s why you probably don’t work for Delta Airlines. Eventually… we did take off. But we couldn’t get to the gate…because they didn’t have one of those little push-carts to pull us in. Finally, they were able to go get one or manufacture one or something. We were hooked up….and got to the gate, but could not “deplane” because there was no-one there to greet us on the other side. Apparently, whoever built the computer model for Delta flights had taken off for vacation before finishing all those pesky little details…..We had a good meeting which I may write more about later. Then, it was time to return home. We got boarding passes at the automatic check in stand, but there were no seat assignments. We went to the gate and requested aisle seats across from each other, near the front. We were told by a Lady With an Attitude….that she just handed out seat assignments as they were given by the computer. Then she put our old pieces of paper on top of the counter and gave us our new random seat assignments…at the back of the plane in windows. At this point, there was some sort of altercation between my lovely wife and this Lady with the Attitude about who should throw away the old non-seat boarding passes. I picked them up to avoid having to visit my wife in jail in Atlanta…because it probably would have involved another Delta flight. About two minutes before boarding time, we were informed that there had been a gate change….basically from one end of the Atlanta airport to the other. So we jogged over to the other side and were told our plane would be taking off a little late. At this point, we decided to “upgrade” to first class on our own dime. Here we did get seats together. Finally, we were ready to take off and fly back to White Plains. Well, not quite. They couldn’t push back from the gate because, they didn’t have one of those rare push-carts that are used to push planes back from the gates. I had naively thought that these were *manufactured mechanical* items that the airlines ordered and kept in stock somewhere for just such a use. But apparently, these are willful conscious beings from another galaxy that must be coaxed into cooperation by a rare breed of folks able to translate from English into Andromedian 756ish. I’ve actually seen more of these push-back devices at several small flower gardens than I have at the Delta gates. Maybe they could hire some of the gardners part time? Anyway, we did finally get home about two hours late and waited for our bags. And waited. And waited. Well, pretty much NONE of the passengers had their bags from that flight. While we may have been pretty slow in our jog from one side of the Atlanta airport to the other, our bags were apparently just *strolling* over and didn’t make it. So, after waiting in a long line, it was finally our turn to hand over our baggage claim tags….Hmmm….you remember the Lady with an Attitude who refused to throw out the “trash” that consisted of our original non-seated boarding passes? Her? Well, those little pieces of paper actually had our claim tag on the back. Luckily, if you recall, I had picked up those little pieces of paper and still had them.

Now, I’m very glad planes don’t very often fall out the sky which does seem quite miraculous….but having people and material ready…this does not seem like “rocket science” does it? At least the prices of airlines tickets have fallen by half since oil prices went back down. Oh. Wait. Let me check. No, they haven’t. And, now they charge you $15 not to have your bags as well. And, of course, you can’t have only carry-on luggage unless you want to forgo toothpaste, deoderant, mouthwash, water, and other such dangerous items. I’m thinking it would be no more costly for Delta to get things right the first time. And, I’m not even sure it would be all that much more costly to have non-surly employees at the ticket counters. Maybe when I retire, I’ll move to Andromeda 756 where they have plenty of those push-back carts for airplanes.

Women and Technology

I started at IBM Research in 1973. I think there were something like four female researchers in the building. Now, there are hundreds. It is so much better in so many ways. Two of the few back then were Pat Goldberg and Fran Allen, both brilliant but with very different personalities. Many have come since to inspire us all. The most inspirational to me is the head of the Social Computing Group, Wendy Kellogg. The new mission of the group is to “save the world, a few billion at a time.” They are working on HCI and International Development and also “Green IT.”

Going cold turkey on waste and carbon

There is not much more to say about not drinking alcohol.   It is better for the brain but it doesn’t make you smarter.  It’s more fun.  So, let’s move on to a new challenge.  What would it be like/how can I/what would it take — to go cold turkey on ruining the earth.  The basic idea is this: for the next months, become mindful as much as possible every day of what I am doing and what the impact is on the earth.  This in turn, leads to thoughts on what the alternatives might be.  How sustainable is my current practice? Does this scale to the whole world? Examples from today.  1. I went to our departmental “tea” and had some snacks on a paper plate.  I was discussing this with a colleague originally from India.  She said that traditionally at large feasts they had used plates made from leaves which were biodegradable.  She also mentioned using simple disposable cups made of clay which quicky returned to the earth.  2. Lunch: well, what are the choices?  A purely vegetarian diet means less stress on the planet since it takes roughly 10 times as much corn, say, to get equivalent calories from corn fed beef as to eat the corn directly.  In a polluted world, eating nearer the “bottom” of the food chain is also healthier since many pollutants tend to concentrate more at the higher levels.  You are safer eating anchovies for instance, than swordfish.  3. Thirsty, I grab a bottle of water.  Hmmm.  Recently, they have come out with a more “environmentally friendly” bottle shape.  However….water is bottled.  So there is the bottle…the energy to create it and the fact that it does not decompose too easily.  And, then there is the energy cost of bottling it and shipping it to where I am.  Of course, there is lots of ancillary costs as well…a portion of running the data centers of all the various companies along the supply chain.  What are the alternatives?  Using the tap water.  Going thirsty.  Getting water more locally.  Well, you get the idea.  There are so many habits ingrained that we (or at least I) don’t even think about….what if you really wanted to go “cold turkey” on carbon and waste?  What would it take?

Language: For Truth or Lies?

May 17, 2008 (Day 571).  I hate to sound cynical but I am beginning to wonder whether language is more often used to communicate the truth — or, it’s opposite.  One example that comes to mind: “I drink just to be sociable.”  Hmmm.  Maybe.  But since people are much more likely to kill each other, accidentally or on purpose, when under the influence, just how sociable is this?  “I have faith in God.”  Okay.  But how many of us say, “I have faith in gravity.”  Or, “I have faith that I cannot walk through that wall.”  Not too many.  At least, I haven’t heard many people express those sentiments.   And, if someone were to say to me, “I have faith in gravity” and I were to reply, “Well, not me.  I don’t see any evidence” — what would happen?  Would they be likely to torture me until I recanted?  Would they even argue vigorously why it was important to have faith in gravity?  I doubt it.  Mostly likely, they would give me a kind of pitying look and walk on their way.  They might say in passing, “suit yourself” and give a little laugh. 

 

When I was studying the psychology of aging many moons ago I took a test of “values” and scored way off the scale on “theoretical” which meant I was quite interested in the “truth” compared with other possible values such as economic, religious, hedonic, and so on.  I think that’s probably right.  It would seem that academia is the place where “truth” is pursued most purely and vigorously, but lately, I have come to wonder whether this is really so, at least now.  Suppose one were in the “Department of Ologyology” and actually found “the truth?”  Would everyone immediately worship you as a hero?  I kind of doubt it.  Because, now, you see, the game would be up.  If you really proved that the fundamental truth of Ologyology were X, and no-one could dispute it or further refine it, people would basically be out of a job.  All those graduate students trained in your Ologyology Department would similarly be out of a job.  So, it seems to me that the real goal of the Ologyology Department is not to seek the truth, but continually to complexify the field of Ologyology so that there are ever more questions to ask.  It is almost, in fact, a requirement to end any published paper with these formulaic words, “More study is obviously needed to further explore this complex and difficult subject.”   No matter how compelling the results, to end a paper conversely with, “So there you have it.  We have definitively shown X and thus ends the study of Ologyology” would be a certain formula for non-acceptance and non-publication and quite possibly for burning a large wooden telescope on your front lawn.

 

Another example: “Women are so emotional.”  Compared with what?  Men?  In my experience, women are much more practical than men and men are much more emotional than women.  Isn’t this obvious?  How many women kill in a fit of rage?  Precious few compared with men.  What is the proportion of prostitutes of men for women versus women for men?  Of course, there are individual differences, but it seems quite clear, that, in general, men are more emotional than women in the sense that their actual behavior is more often guided and clouded by their emotions.  What’s more, men seem, in general, to be less aware of the impact of their emotions on their decisions.  This is all fine, but what is odd is that in our culture, we have a “truism” about it that seems so clearly counterfactual. 

 

In terms of contemporary politics, of course, we find numerous examples, but this is not quite so surprising.  “Republicans believe in individual responsibility.”  Huh?  Everyone in politics has a tendency for finger pointing, but the recent crop of Republicans have elevated this to a high art form and religion.  When, in eight years, have you heard Bush or any of his coterie say, “Oh, yeah.  I was dead wrong about that.” ?  “Republicans believe that the least government is the best government.”  Huh?  What counts as government then?  They want to be able to put you in jail if you displease them with no chance of a jury trial by simply labeling you an “enemy combatant.”  No proof needed.  No sunshine test.  They want to tell you whether or not you can have an abortion, who you can sleep with, and what kinds of drugs are okay and which are not okay.  “The Republicans are the party of financial conservatism.”  So laughable it requires no comment.  “The Republicans believe in the economics of free enterprise.”  No, folks. 
“Free Enterprise” and “Crony Capitalism” are not the same thing at all.  In fact, “Crony Capitalism” is really an oxymoron.  Nothing is further from the spirit and logic of Adam Smith than the brand of favoritism practiced by The Bush White House. 

 

So what then is language?  Surely, it is not always used to deceive.  Sometimes, teams — whether hunting parties, sports teams or software development groups — actually give each other useful information that, so far as they know, is true.  But … wow….we certainly seem to have moved a long way from that. 

Giving up golf?

Well, here it is day something or other.  Even though I am totally dry it is totally wet outside.  Not a day for golf.  Speaking of which….I learned that our President has given up GOLF!  Why?  To show solidarity with the troops in Iraq.  Wow.  Isn’t that something?  Some people might have thought — I don’t know — maybe sending his daughter over there instead of marrying her off?  Or going himself?  But before we trivialize the President’s actual sacrifice, let’s consider some of the upsides of his having given up golf.  For starters, suppose the President woke up one morning with his heart set on a round and the day was like today — POURING down rain.  What would I do?  Not play.  What would you do?  Not play.  What would someone who is really addicted to golf do?  Play and get wet.  What would the President do?  Declare war on the atmosphere most likely.  Yep.  I can see it now.  All kinds of scientific evidence would show up that while Global Warming was just a theoretical possibility, Global Wetting was a faith-based reality!  And the cure would be to drop a couple of H-bombs in the upper atmosphere to kind of “dry out” the wetness and make for a nice day to play golf.  Yep. 

The Media: “Mr. President, have you thought about the impact of the radiation?

Bush: “Radiation?  I don’t know what those fancy God-hating left-wing faggot science boys might say.  I just know I don’t see no radiation.  Do you?” 

The Media: “Did you consider the possible consequences to human health? 

Bush: “I heard from a higher power.  You know, I’m a decider.  That is what I am.  I listen to all the factoids and then I hear the voice of God and then I decide.  Now, leave me alone to do my golfin’….see you made me hit a Stew here right on the first tee.” 

The Media: “A Stew?”

Bush: “Yeah.  You know.  When you kind a mess up on the tee shot, you get a do-over.  We golf people call it a Stew.”

The Media: “Kind of like the invasion of Iraq?  How come you didn’t call a do-over there?”

Bush: “Because…hey.  You know, that ain’t sech a bad idea after all.  Wait.  Did you say Iraq?  Did we invade Iraq?  Because I am sure I ordered us to invade Iran.  Not Iraq.  Boy, somebody sure screwed up.  I’m makin’ some phone calls after this round…”

See?  Things could be worse.  He could have kept playing golf.  Then again, last time he listened to God, he might just have misunderstood Him.  Maybe He said to give up the Gulf.